Life the way it is

2006-01-31T21:41:00.000-08:00

Hi all, this is my new webby add, future posts will be here :

http://www.exoticpoppy.blogspot.com

Heh

2006-01-31T17:39:00.000-08:00

Came back from malaysia on mon...the weather in ipoh was freaking hot..not much hong baos this yr due to the passing on of my granny so they say cannot give hong baos..haha...but well...what's worse was i got stomach problems again...when i came back and saw the doc ystd, he said i have food poisoning...geesh..but it was quite bad la..i had fever, diahorrea, headaches and no appetite..u know how much good goodies i had to miss out on, ystd couldn even stay long at a fren'z party coz the medicine made me extremely drowsy..i think this is one of the worse chinese new years i've had..so sad...ouch im having abdominal cramps again..gtg...bye..

2006-01-26T04:49:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was the most screwed up day of my life...firstly,i was consulting my boss on this writ of summon my dad receieved coz of depts due to his previous comapny...i was quite upset abt it..6K in total plus lawyer's fees..secondly, i screwed up my driving so much..my mind was totally not concentrating, i mounted the curb for the first time, i had alot of problems with vertical parking in which i didnt had and i freaking couldn't do the ram. Anw, the ram is only tested for auto cars so those driving manual will not know abt it..it is very extremely difficult to me coz it involves feeling the pedal and quickly reacting to brake, but if u brake to early, you will slide down the ram, if you brake too late you will strike down the pole...i think im gonna fail my driving at this rate...hai..i was so upset..to make matters worse, dinner at home was cancelled and i was all on my own to pack food and by the time i reach home aft waiting soooo long for bus 58 i had my dinner at 10pm. I was totally exhausted and jinxed...i felt so bad my stomach felt weak and i decided to take leave today off work before i head for ipoh tmr...anw, today was much better i went to OCBC in the morning to open a joint account with my bf and went to NTU with him for his meeting..aft that met up with mum to shop for new yr clothes and went home to clean up the house...yup...i hope tmr and thru out new yr would be a better time...i will miss all u guys here...and pls go plan when we can meet up to bai nian and get hong baos..hahaahaha...no la..more to catch up and chill

JACCC

2006-01-22T07:05:00.000-08:00

Sat went to meet Jac...she cam back from aussie for a break...so happy to finally see her again...met up with the usual clique and had dinner at marche...aft that we went to an out door cafe-pub to chill out..first time had something rather alcoholic...grasshopper...it's some minty cocktail with vodka i think...haha...i felt quite hot after drinking..maybe im really not use to the alcohol..the rest said i was talking lamely..haha...the after effects..well...it's so good to catch up with them aft such a long time...so fast jac will be getting her degree this june...so envious...hai...not like me still stuck in this crazy world of my own...

Sick

2006-01-16T07:21:00.000-08:00

I was sick during the weekends...spent most of my time sleeping and whining away...really bad stomach...feverish and all...tossed all around at night..in the end gave up and went to the doc on sunday morning...the same old clinic and the same old shit...the doc was like in a hurry looking thru my past records and didnt even gave me a chance to explain my symptoms...so the diagnosis is the same again...grastritis...always..but how come it happens too often and this time it comes with fever? and also, i eat regular meals..he says i got sensitive stomach...cant eat spicy,cant eat diary,cant eat oily...sheesh...isnt that missing out a lot of good food in life? anw, i dont eat spicy, i hardly eat oily, i dont drink gassy drinks or coffee at all..i dont understand why my stomach can be soooooooooo extremely weak at times..maybe i over stressed it...sheesh...i really wish i could have a stomach transplant..or maybe coz fri 13 was jinxed for me and got me really upset...i dunno man...

what i wanna be

2006-01-11T06:08:00.000-08:00

Thanks all for your concern...i just wish Ling's HR will respond to me quickly now...

I wanna be like a dandelion
All white and fluffy
Filled with purity
Floating where the wind takes me

I wanna be like a star
So bright and shiny
Hanging in the sky
the universe and beyond
bringing light into the world

I wanna be like a sea anemone
Deep in the blue waters
surrounded by beautiful marine life
just being a display on my own

I wanna be anything,
anything but a human
a human thinks too much
tries to much
and fails too much
In short, a human is nothing

moods

2006-01-08T00:06:00.000-08:00

quiet quieter quietness
reflect refected reflection
spin spinning spun
stop stopped forever

3 Things

2006-01-05T17:51:00.000-08:00

I've 3 things to say to my boss if he ever comes across this:

1) You are a good friend, a good brother, but not a good boss.
2) It takes 2 hands to clap. If you think it'll work out, i dont' think it'll work out, it won't work out.
3) Ur shit is not my shit, don't mix them together. If you wanna solve a problem, separate the shit and solve your shit which is the problem.

life

2006-01-05T06:00:00.000-08:00

kinda busy during work...gonna be even more busy soon...boss wants to transfer me to the other more hectic office to maximize my usage according to him and to lighten up the load the other side...im so not gonna enjoying working in that non-condusive environment there...anyhow...i shall just learn as much as possible before i leave the place...im still waiting to see if ling's co wants to hire pple...if they do then im gonna be so happy...yay...life with my baby has been fabulous...we still love and stick by each other so much...i've been missing out with life with my pals...been so tied down with driving after work...my driving has been improving alot i feel...my turning is much better and smooth...the only problem is my braking now...and i always go so fast as usual...im quite bad at stopping or changing lane when a taxi suddenly stops in front of me or blocks my way..almost bang one down today...not my fault though...it's bonnet was sticking out into my lane...and it's been raining these few days...not a good start to the new yr...the rain does affect my mood...my 7370 has been good so far, catching alot of attention...but it has very limited memory...no external memory..so if u wan a phone to download songs and videos, pls dont buy that phone..if u go more for the size,style and normal usuage such as bluetooth,sms,calling etc...then it's a good buy...yup...tmr going to cell group again...yay...i miss cell group so much...and im looking forward to jac's home coming...maybe the old clique can all meet up again...yay!

7370

2006-01-02T04:43:00.000-08:00

Today i got my new 7370 in coffee brown at ang mo kio central..my uncle brought me there as he says they have stock..and im so glad i got it...coz it's so cool but im so afraid to drop or scratch it...yupz...was so caught up in the buying process that i almost missed my driving lesson in tha afternoon...lucky my uncle was kind enough to fetch me there...hahaha..btw, the only disadvantage of the nokia 7370 is that it cannot be turned 360 degrees, only 180 clockwise/anticlockwise...and it has to be turned back the same direction in order to close it..yup..if u notice clearly, it's screen is on the turning cover,so u cannot compare it to the motorola swivel phone which can turn 360 degrees coz it's screen is on the actual phone itself...yup..

2006

2006-01-01T00:57:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year to all...i'll be turning 21 this year...feeling so old already...btw, Jac called from melbourne...as again with during Xmas night...she is so sweet and never fails to remember me at such occasions..she said the fireworks at Yarra river was fantastic..Had a great time spent with him...our 4 Years anniversary...Had dinner at Gyu-Kaku a Japanese teppanyaki restaurant at CHIJMES...serves best beef...but quite pricey..we were grilling fresh tender meat over the charcoal..baby got me a bouquet of 18 pink tulips..he knows i love those flowers :) went to esplanade to watch the fire works..absolutely fabulous but after much squeezing with the crowd...i think i would still prefer a less crowded place...hahah...no wonder i've never been clubbing or any of that sorta beach party thing...coz i HATE crowds..well...what's installed for the year 2006? I really dunno...im just living by the day...everyone is making new yr resolutions but i guess i wont follow...my resolution is 5 mega pixels..good enough for me...yup..and i hope i can faster buy the nokia 7370...i love that phone in coffee colour man..rain rain go away...wash away the bad year and hopefully rainbow a good start!

End of 2005

2005-12-30T17:44:00.000-08:00

I am trying to write a chinese song. Given how poor my standards are, please don't laugh at the lyrics when i decided to publish it...haha...I realise music is like chinese. You go one key off and it's wrong already.

this is what we got each other for Xmas and their meanings:

For ME:

You Stink!

For HIM:

Your face Stinks!

See how mean we are to each other?!

Me and Daddy

2005-12-30T07:07:00.000-08:00

Is there a resemblence?

Lifeless

2005-12-29T18:26:00.000-08:00

Funny. I realise i got a starking resemblence to inanimated objects..i think maybe i should be one.

Xmas spent with bebe

2005-12-29T18:07:00.000-08:00

pinch a naughty boy at K-box

Meleka photos:

These days

2005-12-29T06:19:00.000-08:00

Had a great time on monday...met up with Michelle and Gio to go sing at Chinatown Kster...hahaha..first time i could sing expressively...maybe coz all were girls...usually im too shy to sing..hahaha...aft that met my family at PS for dinner and dessert..was looking out for a new mobile phone to get..i think i better stick back to nokia..but i dont want a too bulky phone as i always put my HP in my pocket...am considering the 7370..today was scolded by this secretary from another law firm...she just pissed me off..she created a legal document wrongly and was unhappy when i asked her to ammend it...had the cheek to tell me to just blanco it off myself. It's a LEGAL DOCUMENT leh.Hello!!? she still told me that im wasting her postage and time...sheesh..how unreasonable..i just kept quiet..well, i dont wanna waste my breathe arguing with such pple...prolly she just had a bad day..today took and passed my final theory test..so happy i've finally cleared all my theories and can concentrate fully on my practicals..been thinking abt joining Ling's company...Just wanna work somewhere with pple i know and where i can earn alot of money...coz right now for the next 3yrs i just wanna save up as much as i can to study overseas...i think i will just get a science degree and come back to NIE and be a science teacher..everyone thinks that is best for me...the "teacher" look...hahaha...but when i think abt it..it really does encompasses what i like..for eg, children and also animals..zoology or biology perhaps...yup...as for now im still taking things one step at a time and exploring my options..have to clear my driving first..yupzz...

XMAS!!!

2005-12-25T08:22:00.000-08:00

Went to melaka with my family and him and my sis's bf on fri...weird trip...stoped at tampin to eat exotic food...the restaurant sells tiger sometimes but luckily didnt get to eat it...ate bat meat,turtle soup,wild boar meat...all the weird stuff...my bf drove to malaysia with us...had a punctured tyre aft lunch lucky my dad was quite a pro at changing tyres..hahaha...anw, we stayed at A' FAMOSA resort which kinda sucked...nothing to see, nothing to do...we literally toured the place in 2hours...went back the next day...which was xmas eve...since we had no plans, baby took me to a buffet dinner at FURAMA hotel...Jac called me from melbourne at 10pm but it was 12mn there, to wish me merry xmas...she said she would be back on 17 January...how sweet...i miss jac, she always rmbs me and takes care of me during poly days...aft that we went to join his bro at K-box in chinatown...reached home at 1am Xmas morning!...was very tired but had to wake up at 7am to go to church...sunday school and service...received quite little presents this yr, as with other yrs...hahaha...i seem more like a giving than receiving person...but it doesn matter anw...hahaha...watched the chronicles of narnia this afternoon was quite a nice show...brouhgt my mind back to those fantasy days...well..it's nice if ounly u like fantasy creatures..the plot is a little biblical...i would sa this xmas just passed so fast and i was so busy meeting up with so many pple that i couldnt really feel that spirit of xmas...probably i should have organised a party or something so i can meet everyone at one go and have that warm homely decorated xmas feeling...next yr we'll see how...Merry and Blessed Xmas to all!

Yesterday....

2005-12-21T18:36:00.000-08:00

Last night went for dinner with Bebe and his clique..they are a nice happy bunch...went to some German restaurant at millenia walk...the portion was surprisingly small for "Germans" if u know wat i mean...haha..but as usual...by dear was his humourous self, entertaining his group...love him to bits! got to see Zhen...her baby is 3 months old already!! so adorable...having a kid really takes a toll on a woman...freedom is lost,late nights up...but i guess the result is fufilling when the kid smiles or does something which adores...hahaha...i love babies too..but not for now though...got no time and no energy for them...and as again, my stomach is bad these days...seems like it happens often...like once everymonth...not sure if it's got to do with the hormonal thing...but the doctor always says the same thing...gastric...stress..i guess im stressing myslef unknowingly...last nite, i woke up in the middle of the night feeling lost and stressed for no apparent reason...probably it's the advance theory coming up, probably it's work and thinking about my future? i dunno man...it's like everything mixed up together...pls pray...

A busy week and busy season

2005-12-20T06:03:00.000-08:00

This week i feel like a restaurant...im quite fully booked...ystd went for my driving lesson after work...today met up with my secondary school frenz and went to DFS to watch my sis carol...bought her a tulip nicely wrapped...guess she was touched and surprised that i went down..hee..caught up with my pals...miss them soooo much...huiping was so sweet...actually bought me a xmas present...i feel so mean..have not been a good fren...forgot to wish eunice happy bday on her bday which just passed...yikes..i've been so busy that i've been forgetting alot of little things..it's really shocking how we have all grown so fast through the years..the naive secondary kids to the working women now...tomorrow HE and his frenz will be having a gathering also, for dinner at millenia walk...thurs will be meeting ling and fri will be off to malacca with HIM and my family for a retreat at A'Famosa resort...sat will be back on xmas eve, sun will have church celebration...mon will be meeting mich and gio hopefull...and that leaves me with 2days to study for my advance theory test which is on the 29th...then the yr will be coming to an end..and it will be out 4 yrs anniversary...so as u can see, im pretty much tight on schedule all the way till next yr...haha...sounds far...will update soon...tata

Completion

2005-12-15T01:20:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow will be my first completion file im handling..hope i dont screw things up...through out the whole case,it hasnt been too smooth..coz it's my first case and i've to complete it in 5 weeks(usual 8 weeks)...what's more, it's a negative sale..which means my clients are losing money after selling the property..not only do they not get any money, they have to lose about 100K in their CPF savings..so sad...how long will i have to work to earn so much money...sheesh...and the buyers are china nationals...hmm...i guess it's their first time buying a private property so they are rather fussy about certain stuff...fuzzzzz...tmr is my company's party...at one of the lawyer's place...wonder how everything will go..haha...but he is a very funny lawyer cum part time actor..think he got this audition as Osama...coz he looks quite like Osama..he is Indian muslim btw..hahaha...cornified!

2005

2005-12-08T05:57:00.000-08:00

I really do enjoy reading Ling's entries..she is sucha good writer, i find it a waste if she doesn enter journalism..anyway..i feel so many pple are good in so many of their areas...the irony is i fail to see what's so good in myself to be able to groom myself...yup..2005 has been a fulfilling yr for me..so much so that i've been through a couple of rough patches this year..a break up,an immediate patch back,fell in and out of love with someone,made new friends,graduated from poly,found a job,turned down many offers,composed some songs...im just glad my love life has blossomed to a stage which hasnt been for the past 4yrs..as for friends, some have gone overseas,some i've lost contact with eversince graduation..others i hardly meet...life takes a turn at different points..especially when one has to be introduced into a new environment..somehow i do miss the innocence in schooling life..the friends and the whole naivity...when you are forced to grow up,its so tough, you have to make so many important decisions in life which are suppose to bring you somewhere..i guess 20 is the age that somehow spells it literally..you are neither a teen nor an adult..the feeling of not belong to any of the age groups brings about this searching for that identity..Awkard is the only word to describe this stage for me..while many are enjoying their young-adult hood, clubbings,pubbings,trying to find some meaning in life...im just a half-past-six..nither neither..im not the young girl who sleeps at 10pm anymore...neither am i the wild girl who parties till 2am..I feel like a half-clutch..if it is not properly mastered, the vehicle cannot move on or will stall..yet if it is held there, it will wear off the clutch lining..i just pray i could move on slowly..changing to higher gears in life...soaring through..

Sheesh

2005-12-07T21:24:00.000-08:00

I guess im progressing rather slow at driving...ystd my instructor hardly let me complete one lesson...he is weird..i was going at 40kmph and he was already asking me to slow down...not like my previous instructor...and he kept nagging at me...sheesh...i wonder if it's really me or him...anw, i cant wait for the upcoming xmas parties...got 2 next week, one company one and another sunday school one...it's the time of the yr again...haven got time to shop yet..will have to wait till next week to see if ling and i can go browse around for stuff...yea...

2005-12-04T03:57:00.000-08:00

He had just returned from Hong Kong on fri...went to the airport with his mum to fetch him...hee..he bought me Birkenstock and a disneyland shirt :) i love birkenstock..its so nice and comfy...so sweet of him to have gotten it for me...played badminton ystd...2hrs...haven exercised in a long while..now my muscles are acing badly..haha..played until the soles of my shoes came off...shows how lousy adidas is..i think my sis's asics is still the most trustworthy..hee..im quite broke this month...still have to plan for xmas..just spent like 2K on my driving..sheesh...im paying for everyting for myself..don wanna get a cent from my parents..now im starting to realise how tough it is to make a decent living for oneself in singapore..nevertheless, im still optimistic...there are so many things i wanna do...hee..

Xmas in our hearts

2005-12-01T06:43:00.000-08:00

Darn it...i ordered the "Christmas in our hearts" CD from philipines online...and it's coming next week..today, my mum bought the exact same one from tower records...sheesh...i had been hunting high and low for it since last xmas..went to HMV and they told me they not bringing it in...sheesh...and now my mum just found it like that...it's a very nice CD...so i think to make a deal out of it, i may burn it to give frenz as presents...sheesh..haha...my cousin did well for her PSLE...she got 251...not bad for a neighbourhood pri school..now i feel like the most stupid of all my cousins...all came from RI,NYGH, St nicks etc...except me...Yishun Town...haha..but it doesn matter la...coz in the end, Yishun Town still gave me an all rounded education and good CCA exposure..i only realised how easy studying actually was when i was in my 2nd yr in poly...well..i guess everyone realise at different stages in their lives..each of us have our own talents and it needs amit of exploration to bring it out.. think the environment is also very important..look at society here? we are "forced" to do more practical stuff or courses...not exactly things we like, just to make a living..for eg,i saw a course offered in uni melbourne..Degree in cheese making and wine appreciation..does singapore even recognise this? haha...look at the choices we have here,banking,finance,business,economics...it's kinda sad huh..recently they allowed music...but 80% are foreigners...i wonder when will the government ever whole heartly groom local talents...hmmm...even for science here...biological sciences...so vague..in other countries can branch out to botany,zoology,pathology,forensic sciences...haha...well...to bad im living in suh a society la...hmmmm...for now just enjoy my life first..many of us are working and stressing ourselves out so much for what "seems" a brighter future..i would rather be happy first :) yup

blogs

2005-11-30T05:10:00.000-08:00

i was just reading some other blogs and i realised that most pple like to blog about their love life in vivid details...haha..i guess im one of the few who hardly talk abt my love life online..perhaps i've been attached too long that it just seems a daily routine when im with him...He has intergrated into my life that there is nothing much to talk about already...xmas is nearing..so is the new yr..then it will be our 4th yr together...still havent thought of how to celebrate xmas with him...i was thinking of making some reservations at a restaurant with good food...but have no idea where...i did check out the night safari has some xmas dinner with the animals..but it's very ex..i think abt $190 per pax...and the idea of eating with the smell of those animals...hmm...better think twice..anw one knows any good place like at esplanade or something? Anw, ystd was the first time i drove on the road..pple always say girls are scaredy cats when they drive on the road..surprisingly, i turned out reckless..instead of feeling kan cheong and scared..i was actually very thrilled...i was going at abt 50-60kmph which is considered too fast for a first timer...my instructor only asked me to slow down in built up areas surprisingly..i think im too dangerous..when i change lane, im too abrupt..though i do check my mirrors and blind spot, i think i was too fast that the instructor thinks i didnt check..but the thing abt driving is that we must be alert at all times..my eyes were practically shifting frm mirror to mirror to blind spot to the front screen that i have no time to think abt any other thing..i almost crashed into another car at the filter lane coz it suddenly appeared when i finish checking my blindspot and got ready to move..haha..i guess i've to train myself to react even faster..i also got some problems with the brake..or the brake has some problems..have to step all the way before the car comes to a stop..haha..ok shant bore u out with driving anymore..at this dangerous rate i doubt the TP will let me pass anw..baby went to HK ystd..i couldn go with him...wasnt too nice to take leave from work...yup..hope he is enjoying himself there..kinda miss him...sobs sobs..shall have to be more independent..i think i've been depending on him too much..fetching me, meeting him for meals and all..not so good to be so sticky..unless we are married...coz then we will have to spend every moment together...haha...so should enjoy some time with frenz first...yup..

Follow my heart

2005-11-25T07:15:00.000-08:00

My heart tells me to do what im doing now first...not to jump into conclusion too fast...i have to take things one step at a time...hopefully i'll fine my meaning soon...meanwhile...taking my driving lessons first..i feel like a baby...one step at a time...now it's the crawling stage...

Pray for Me

2005-11-23T04:44:00.000-08:00

I've been having second thoughts about studying law...somethings have happened which made me think twice abt it...i don wanna make any rash decisions to regret it in the future...somehow i felt i've been lying to myself...i do like science..in fact i love science...it's just that i dont wanna work in the lab for the rest of my life...but what can i do?i realise i could probably teach...well, im considering that as an option...to teach science...i love the physical aspect of science...the cellular stuff..i find the molecular,DNA, protein stuff boring...perhaps im more into things which i can see...yup...i really dunno now...what i should do, i wouldnt say i don like law...i just dont know enough of it to conclude...right now, i still dunno what i wanna do...y m i in such a torture???

Emily Rose

2005-11-22T08:11:00.000-08:00

I just came back from watching the Exorcism of Emily Rose...the show really touched me...It was somehow a mixture of faith, law and science...It just really made me feel that God is so real and that I have to do something to spread His word...anw, the show is based on a true happening...Emily was posessed by 6 demons and they were actually real demons in the Bible, the one that posessed Cain, the first son in the Bible who killed his brother..and also the famous one that posessed Judas who betrayed Jesus and hanged himself..Well, it's kinda spooky as the story progresses because i could relate to it, im one of the "sensitive" type of person like emily rose...one who can experience and see dark forces...im glad im not alone...sometimes when i tell or describe to pple my encounters, it's like so hard to convince anyone...but i just know it is true...evil spirits do exist and so does God...it brought me back to that time when i was staying at my uncle's place near Philip's avenue just beside the japanese cemetery...those who have been to that house will know how near it is to the cemetry..at first i didnt believe in such bad stuff until i had experienced it myself..the night when my sis forgot to off the CD player and me, as a sensitive and light sleeper, awoke to off it...that "Cat-like" black figure which tried to enter me and that fluttering of wings when my spirit literally jumped out to defend me...and the reflect of the cross i was wearing around my neck...it happened so fast and seemed so impossible...but i knew i was not dreaming coz i was wide awake and i was freaking frighten...and i was still a new christian then...when i woke up and told my sis abt it and some of my cell members...and they said the devil appears as a feline-like creature and that the holy spirit decends like a dove(book of luke)...i didnt knew abt those, being a young christian till i turned to those pages in the bible...it suddenly dawned on me how real the devil and God was...it changed my life then. I totally believed in God...till now i still cannot fully understand how i could "see" that presence and all but i somehow "saw" it with my eyes closed or felt it...whichever way u wanna put it...therefore i really believe in such things as being possessed...also, i rmb, around that time it happened, one of those nights, i awoke to this burning smell...as im a sensitive sleeper again, i got up and telephone my dad(was staying with my uncle, not dad) so he told me to check if anywhere short circuit and i checked but everything seemed fine...i just could not tell where the Burning smell came from...it's not the normal type of burning smell...it's something like burning rubber or plastic...really i dunno how to describe it...but aft watching the movie, i some how still don understand what has burning smell got to do with evil spirits...can anyone fill me in on that...im just shock that i had the same experience with emily rose and the priest in that show...also, i rmb one evening when i was out at the porch playing with leslie(my dog) and suddenly he barked very fiercely at something beside me...when i turned to look, there was nothing beside me...and he was looking in that direction and barking very fiercely...it just sent goosebumps down my spine...im half glad im not staying there anymore aft those encounters...but i have to say it looks like a beautiful peaceful neighbourhood...

Ling Ling

2005-11-16T05:12:00.000-08:00

Met up with weiling ystd...missed her alot..too bad the guys couldnt make it...but i long for jac to be back from melbourne...then she can cook for us again and we can go slack at her beautiful home...by the time she comes back next yr she will have a degree,she can drive,she will be like the perfect career woman...so envious...while some of us will still be slogging away...hahahah...just cant wait for the day to come that all of us will gather together and discuss about our lives...like so grown up...well, the guys are also very established...though they are in NS...but they published a scientific paper leh...weet...almost like scienctists...they will all be famous in their areas...as for me, i've nothing to fret...coz there wont be competition from them...wahahah...and also, it is better to have frenz in other areas..so if they wanna buy house or seek legal advice, they can find me next time...and if they every set up an antibody purification company, i can help them draft contracts and run the administrative part...muahahhaha...don forget me hor u guys...if u ever become researchers or doctors...im thinking too far...skali i cannot make it...yikes!!

Thank God!

2005-11-14T04:21:00.000-08:00

Today John Hopkins Singapore at Biopolis called me up to offer me a research position...Well, Biopolis is every science student's dream to work at...but i had to decline their lucrative offer...i've made up my mind to do law, and i know it is going to be tough, my pay will be lower and everything has to be start from scratch...but somehow my gut feeling tells me that it is right...I guess God is encouraging me and reaffirming me through these prestigious offers which i have kindly rejected...I've really thought through it. I don't wanna work in a lab, so what is the point? I'd rather make the switch now and concentrate on what i wanna do and make the best out of it...Somehow, im feeling apprehensive that it will be so tough to work and study law at the same time and im afraid i might regret not taking up those job offers, but if there is not risk put in what i wanna do, i will lose out on something greater in life i feel. So even if many pple are and have said i was stupid to reject such an offer all, i have to say is that i've know what i want in life, and i'll stick by it. Yup...i'll be registering for the University of London's external programme soon...i think the next intake locally will be next yr probably in march or may...till then, i hope to complete my driving...for now im taking steps one thing at a time...education and skills are forever,im glad im starting to map out my route now :) thanks for all your support and thank God for guiding me!

2005-11-13T04:35:00.001-08:00

Nikity Nik is phlegmatic at this point.
Life has taken a standstill.
No rhyme, no reason.
Cool and collected.
My feeling for now.

2005-11-13T04:35:00.000-08:00

Nikity Nik is phlegmatic at this point.
Life has taken a standstill.
No rhyme, no reason.
Cool and collected.
My feeling for now.

It's the most, wonderful time of the YEAR!

2005-11-10T04:40:00.000-08:00

I'm Dreaming of a white.....christmas...
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire....
City Side walks, busy side walks dressed in holiday style...
The first Noel...the angels did say...

All those wonderful christmas songs...
somehow i can only fantasize a snowy christmas where the family is cuddled in the warmth of a log house with a fire place and a x'mas tree by the side...the aroma of roasted turkey stuffed with herbs...the children carolling outside the houses..what wonderful imagination i have...these seem so far away...

Right here in singapore, lights and decorations aorund town with tall sky scrapers, hot and humid with ocassional drizzles and the smell of baked cookies and log cakes fill the walk ways crowded with jostling urban goers dressed in black dresses and heavy make up, all ready for party...

But whatever the mood is, the whole world is celebrating x'mas!
I love the whole mood, the atmosphere...the music,the smell, the people, the food and the presents...somehow, i dunno what and how im going to celebrate x'mas this yr...im hoping for a party...to be invited to a party i mean...probably someone's place for some warming time..i dunno...i think the worst way to spend x'mas is being alone with nowhere to go...that is the saddest...and yes! i love the presents,the exchanging of presents...the decisions to make on what to buy for who and how the person will be surprise to receive the presents...somehow i wish i was much richer so i can splurge on my family and friends...dream dream dream...

Wake up niki! Ok first things first, i need to enrol into UOL soon...before deciding on which institute to obtain my LLB from...hmm...any suggestions? SIC,ITC or stansfield?

To WeiXin

2005-11-09T05:45:00.000-08:00

A moment of silence to commemorate my dear friend WEIXIN! HAPPY BELATED!!! this entry specially for u!

first lesson

2005-11-08T07:52:00.000-08:00

today went for my first practical lesson...was so nervous...the instructor was like telling me all abt the car parts for the first hour until i almost fell asleep...there are like so many things to take note off...and i almost forgot them...especially to first lock the door and adjust the seat and mirrors...im quite bad at adjusting the wing mirrors..haha...the instructor has got some pronounciation problem which makes it hard to understand some of his words..but i guess i have to get use to the function of the cars first...esp the steering wheel..coz he was teaching me from the centre steer 2 rounds(1.3 actualy) to the left till it's full lock..and from the centre 2 rounds(1.3 actually) to the right...then he ask me how many rounds is that...mathematically speaking, i told him about 3 rounds coz i add 1.3 x 2...but the ans he wanted was 4(2+2) if u get what i mean...haha...thats the problem with me...i tend to think too much until i confuse myself with the questions...and i realise im quite bad at turning too...i dunno how to estimate the wheel turn before letting it steer back to it's original position...how???m i the only one with this problem??also, i dont have the habit to check the rear and side mirrors yet...and i was going at abt 20km/hr in the circuit which is considered too fast esp for a first timer...yikes...i dunnno if it's the car's accelerator or what...just a gentle tap already sends it flying...i had to literally cramp my leg at every brake and acceleration...hahaha....anw, was driving the new honda civic...haha...my fav car..cant wait for my next lesson...but i gotta pass my basic theory on 22nov first before i can get my PDL...hee...nitezzz for now

Blister

2005-11-07T04:26:00.000-08:00

Mister Blister attacked my feet today...well...so much to pay the price for wanting to wear that pair of nice shoes...u know those pointed toe type...the other time i had blister coz of it...but i thought that maybe the more i wear it, the more season the shoe will be...i cant bear to throw it away...too pretty liao...well...my mind is in it's usual "niki" state again...frantically climbing high and low...well...i guess i wanna do so many things in an impposibly short time...i wanna complete my driving,start on my law course, composing my songs, planning for my cleaning co...it's like i got hardly any time for myself...and im losing touch with God...it is very bad...i seem so preoccupied with the things in my life...how could i even forget the most important Father...well...that is another thing which i gotta do somehting about too...but luckily this friday im going for "jesus Encounter" can't wait for that man...sooooo many things i wanna do im going crazy....Help Help...i feel like im in a whirlpool, stuck in the middle and being sucked down...any of u ever felt so much confusing thoughts and dunno where to start with? i bet so!

Yikes

2005-11-05T23:57:00.000-08:00

im habing bad sinus again...dunno what has been the cause of it...only developed it recently,either it's my house too dusty,or the aircon or being allergic to cigarette smoke(my uncle smokes,workplace) or a mixture of all...feeling horrible right now...ystd went back to YTSS for the last time before they are gonna rebuilt it...caught up with my sec sch frenz as well...also, im gonna start my practical lessons soon...haven passed my basic though...hopefully can pass in first try...have been quite busy in the mind...deciding on which school i should choose for my study in law...hmm...right now, alot of things cramped up in my mind...and im quite serious abt the cleaning co. thing...starting to plan it already...well, havent touched that think wordy law book...so sianz....full of bombastic english which i totally cannot comprehend...even with an english dictionary...got this feeling i'll struggle alot with law..but well, no pain, no gain...yupz...i gotta look at the brighter side of life...x'mas is coming and it is the season i most look forward to...hee...just ordered a CD online...hopefully it will reach by end nov...great x'mas hits man...cant find it in sg...yupzzzzz...so tata for now...

Money Money Money

2005-10-31T22:48:00.000-08:00

Everything in this world is governed by money...it made me realise that the saying,"money is the root of all evil" is totally true..In this money oriented society today, if you dont have money, it's as good as being dead..Name me a thing that doesn have monetary value, apart from feelings(happiness,love) and all those...Actually i was surveying singapore, let's start from where we live in...everything around talks about money, even when u wanna buy a house, it is not just simply paying the property money and u can get the keys to the house, u still have to pay for legal fees for the conveyancing to help u finish ur whole process of handover, u need to pay the agent who introduce u to the property, u have to pay the CPF lawyers' fees if u are using ur CPF to pruchase the property, u have to pay the stamp fees which will go to the SLA(singapore land authority) for stamping(making your cert,mortgage documents etc.. "original")...u will be given a cert of entitlement as the owner of the house which is called a deed and that is where the stamp fees go to also..in the end when u get the keys to the house, u will realise that apart from the agreed amount of the property for eg. $300,000 the plus plus plus adds up to another 10K and if u use a bank loan to finance for ur property, u will have to pay interest every month...dont talk about renovating ur house then...and also property tax...ok...i hope im not scaring most of u...but after working and learning about these stuff, i realise how naive i was in my thinking and that i was not even aware how much "extra" money my parents have to fork out apart from everything which looked so simple and straight forward to me...i guess buying a car is the same..buy the car is one thing, the monthly interest,petrol,servicing,road tax,parking expense all add up to be so much more...living in this society is indeed costly...it kind of frightens me as to think how i am going to lead a comfortable life if it is so governed by money...y are we working so hard?to earn money for ourselves and the next generation, to provide them with a good education...for what?so next time they too can earn more money...the trend never seems to stop and there dont seem to be a solution to these problems...and if pple cannot afford or are poor, they will resort to crimes or fines or be sentence to court to be made a bankrupt if they cant pay...it is really scary if u are poor in singapore...how could u even lead a happy life without worrying about so much financial problems...so what happens to these pple then? they either complain about the government or worse comes to worst they will commit suicide..so imagine ur life now...how would u like to live it? how would u live ur life happily in such a money minded society?u will strive to earn more, and by what means different pple take different routes, if u can make money in a good way, then good for u...but the problem comes with the more money u make, the more u want and the more u spend...it becomes a power and authority problem now..if u know what i mean...the more money u have, the more u will spend on luxury stuff...let me pose u a question, even if u are so kind hearted, if i give u $1 million, what will u use it to do first? i bet charity will be the last thing on ur mind..first u will think of buying property, go for a trip around the world, buy ur favourite clothes or gadgets, buy a car, probably go for further studies,invest in stocks to hope to earn more, to show u have some humanity, u will probably treat ur frenz and family to a big meal...u will put a small % into ur bank hoping that the minute interest will somehow be able to help u make somemore money...haha...look at all those qualities..they surround oneself, to satisfy oneself...who would really think of others? so in my conclusion, money should be abolish and we will all die.

I love my life

2005-10-31T05:18:00.000-08:00

I was just reflecting on my life, my life of 20yrs up to now...the things i've been through, the ups and downs...though im still just over the down period...i've learnt to appreciate my life more...do the things i like...life is about being happy.not so much about earning alot of money or keep busying myself with work and chores...there are so many things i wanna do in this life...just to name a few : travel to china,korea,india,middle east,cambodia,switzerland,USA,south america,taiwan,france...actually i really wanna go to the middle east...their History there is so vast...i wanna do some bible trekking there...haha...also, i wanna be a good cook...coz i realise that no matter what, eating is one of the most enjoyable things in life...u can cook to make a living,cook for ur family, cook for those you love, write a recipe book, cook as a hobby, invent ur own dish...so many things u can do with this skill...i also wanna play music...compose my own songs...songs that can reflect my mood...music is also another essential thing to cheer pple up...well...to me, a perfect life would encompass these 3 elements, good travel relaxation,to open ur eyes to more culture, cook and savour good food,which also keeps u in touch with the world and music which perks up ur senses...wow...the thought of such a wonderful life is almost unimaginable...in such a fast pace, money oriented society...thats y i really feel sad for most singaporeans who slog away all their lives for the next generation...

Who believes in me?

2005-10-29T05:17:00.000-07:00

No one seems to trust in me these days...not everyone supports my idea...some have weird and bad thoughts abt me studying law...im quite upset...i hope all these will not affect my decision...coz it's my decision and no one forced me into it...well...today bebe brought me to register my driving...i'll be doing my class 3A(auto)licence...so far have been reading the basic theory book...today be let me test drive his car again...did much more turns but realise my turning is quite bad...cannot keep in lane...but doesn matter...with more practice hopefully will be better...sadzzzz...i hope pple will believe in me more...in my decisions i make in life...yup...tata for now...

Fable by niki

2005-10-24T06:11:00.000-07:00

THE CHICKEN WING THAT FLEW AWAY

Once upon a time, there lived a chicken wing…it was covered in feathers…beautiful white feathers…

It was living in Singapore with many other chicken wings…All his chicken wing friends had underwent makeovers and were very proud of themselves. There was fried chicken wing who got himself some oil massage and a hot oil bath, there was curry chicken wing who got to marinate herself in aromatic curry herbs, there was BBQ chicken wing who got himself a good tan to look more attractive and steam chicken wing who could never leave the sauna…

Only poor feathered chicken wing was no where near those standards…all the other chicken wings took a distance to him…because he looked weird covered in feathers.

Feathered chicken wing was very upset and he laid in the farm thinking what his future would be…whether it would ever become a useful or beautiful chicken wing. As he stood lonely and deserted, he cried every night till he was all wet like a 落汤鸡 soaked in it’s own tears…

One fine day, feathered chicken wing decided to fly away in search of a place of which it could be useful…so it took off with much great effort as it was only a wing on its own. Stretching its muscles and flapping vigorously, it flew to a faraway land…
It flew past the paddy fields and over the rivers…finally it decided to land on a farm.
Feathered chicken wing went in search of a use for himself…

As it wobbled along the muddy path, it came across a white chicken… the white chicken was a handicapped, one of it’s wings was amputated by some mean seller and sold to make chicken wing soup(which is not good for the soul)…Luckily, the chicken managed to escape.

The two stared at each other for a long moment, they were stunned. Feathered chicken wing broke the silence, “I have been searching for somewhere in which I can play a part in, I wish I could be of part of you.” Without hesitation, the chicken embraced him with his other wing, “hope along then!” So the delighted feathered chicken wing snuggled comfortably into the armpit of the chicken and they became whole again.

Moral of the story: Don’t get eaten in life. To be whole, we need to go in search of something to be useful.

the past days

2005-10-24T05:45:00.000-07:00

On wed morning we recieved a call that my paternal grandmother in malaysia passed away...that morning, we left and headed towards simpang pulai near ipoh which is where my grand parents live..The trip itself seemed treacherous...it was the first time i'd seen such heavy rain almost like a typhoon while in the car...the trees were bent and u can hardly see the car in front of u from a metre away..the rain was pretty horrible that all the cars were driving with their hazard lights on...when we reached our grandma' house 8 hours later, the funeral proceedings were already set up...it's the taoist funeral...being a christian, i couldn imagine what i had to go thru the next few days but had to do it out of respect..the amount of joss sticks i held in the 3days is even more than what i've ever held in my 20yrs of life till then..anw, the taoist rituals were really scary...there were those kneeling and standing...chanting and running around...up till the wee hours in the morning..so now im accustom to staying up late..haha..there was also using chicken blood to write some stuff and all those paper houses,money,cars and eerrie dolls about half my height...supposedly to be burnt and carried on to the afterlife..anw, my grandma was in hospital the week before and we did went back to visit her...she had kidney failure and was undergoing dialysis..she seemed ok except being pretty weak and couldnt eat...the doctors gave her a very strong dose of antibiotics-cilastitin...my aunty(dad's sister) was extremely superstitious and went to "qiu shen"(pray to their gods) and her "gods" said my grandma would die on that sunday...luckily her "gods" were wrong...she dint die on that weekend that we went and took care of her..a few days later my dad called to say she passed on...it was too fast and too unexpected..they said she died of internal bleeding in her stomach and brain hemmorage...i don like the toaist funeral...it's scary and tiring plus all the smoky joss smell...somehow i just don understand y pple would believe in such weird scary stuff...u know, the "priest" will throw this two shells in which if one faces up and the other faces down means there is a agreeing response and if both shells faces up or both faces down means the "gods" or "spirits" don agree...i feel it is so weird..it's more like math...the probability that both shells will face the same direction in how many throws...i tink all those can be calculated...anw, on the third day, my grandma was cremated at "shan bao dong" a mountain temple nearby...the cremation was the really traditional type, those in houses like ovens, slowly burnt with wood in around the coffin until it turns into ash the next day...not like in sg where they just throw the coffin into a furnace and the thing burnts up almost instantly..all these only make me trust in the Lord more and i can only find my security and love in God the one and only...

My decision

2005-10-18T05:01:00.000-07:00

The days really made me wrecked my brains out...i've been praying and seeking God for the right direction. some how i've made up my mine to study Law...A law degree that is...but not the type where i can become a lawyer...coz that will take 4yrs in london and a bar exam...i really wanna set up a business in future, or help to run a company, i know i have big dreams and not many pple support me coz they think im soft-spoken,cannot argue,timid and everything...im also perssimistic and keep being affected by what others say. but for now, i know what i want and i cannot take into consideration so many comments that will disrupt my thoughts.anw, i went for an interview this morning at Biopolis Johns Hopkins. It will be my last interview as im not going to persue science anymore...and surprisingly, TTSH called me up to offer me a job as a Medical Technologist, but i turned them down...somehow i feel i don undertant y when im looking so hard for something, it doesn come and when i've changed my plans, then stuff comes...I guess im gonna stick by my decision and get a part time degree from SIC...also, im planing to take my driving license soon...should be going to register this weekend...for now, im just whacking at any opportunity to improve my skills...I will continue to pray for guidance becoz in what ever i do, I turn to Him...yupz...tata for now

today

2005-10-07T04:00:00.000-07:00

Today my boss was discussing with me...he asked me what i wanted to do...which area i would prefer to be in? he told me the structure of the law firm and asked me if i wanted to do conveyancing,litigation, administration or sales...he also asked me if i wanna do a degree in law and become a lawyer..i guess he is a nice boss..he kinda map out many of the staff's potential and interest and help them fufill their wishes...for eg, he is sponsoring one of my colleague melvin, to study law and become a lawyer..hai...for now i really dunno if i wanna do anything with law...it's too sudden for me...to switch from science to law...but i really do appreciate his help...well...he wants me to try out all the areas and see which area im most interested in...im at a lost right now...my mind is in a whirlpool...should i give up on science? Is God testing my patience or does he just not want me to persue science any further...tat is the question hitting my mind right now..

Hopes and Dreams shattered

2005-10-06T16:53:00.000-07:00

I guess i've came to this point of admiting defeat...defeat against lying to myself abt what i really want in life..I guess God has clearly showed me the answers in an obvious form...First, i get rejection letters from unis, now i get rejection letters from labs...2 came just one after another..."We regret to inform you..." how many times have i seen that? now im so afraid to open my email or even my letter box in fear of reading such demoralising statements...Don't you think God is clearly trying to show me something? I feel that He is whacking my head against the door saying "Wake up Niki! This is not what I want you to do, and not what you want to do in life!" Sometimes i feel im capable of much more...for now i need to pick up the pieces and carry on. Carry on this brain wrecking time of deciding what to do next, finding that sense of purpose in life..i feel so restricted and stuck here coz perhaps I chose to study something and now im force to leave it...i guess some of u may know the feeling..I guess i dont wanna make the same mistake by continue studying it against all odds and find that it's not me in the end...For now im just like a buoy floating in an endless sea...a mark betweeen the danger zone and the safe zone...if i float to the wrong side, that's it. Oh God, save my soul, tell me what i should do next? Help me find that sense of purpose in life...Peace..

yeah

2005-10-05T07:00:00.000-07:00

today went to meet mich...waha...missed her loads man...we talked and talked abt so much stuff...made me so happy...for once i feel human again...feel like i got a life...yup...she's a da jie la...cant wait to jam again...so many songs to learn but i just cant wait to jam again coz i miss jamming sooooo much...gonna do "fly" by hillary, "behind these hazel eyes" kelly clarkson, "incomplete" BSB...im just afraid i cant do the keyboards and sing properly at the same time...i cant really multitask well...yup..will just try my best....cant imagine screaming to kelly clarkson's song...haha...

life indeed

2005-10-03T06:51:00.000-07:00

i wonder what is God's plan for me...no interviews this week, no ads...my life has once again turn to this stagnant point...interestingly, im becoming good frenz with my boss..he is a nice friend..u can talk cork with him...but he wants to train me in areas of conveyancing and family law...too bad i've got no interest in law seriously...i think law is boring and by the book...for now im just wandering around aimlessly...yup...i really wish my prayers would be anwsered...for now im just living as it goes...hopefully can be a housewife next time...hehe

hairday

2005-10-02T03:06:00.000-07:00

I would like to do something to my hair...ut i dont know what...aha...should i colour it or trim it? should i cut my fringe?...for now i feel like leaving it long but at the same time im bored of my hair...any suggestions?

Work Work Work

2005-09-28T06:34:00.000-07:00

The days of my life have been hectic...contrary to the previous weeks where i had nothing to do...well..i feel better with things to keep me busy, however i also do miss some free time where i can laze around, watch tv and write some songs..so far went for 2 interviews..the first one is at cordlife, dealing with processing of cordblood...seems an interesting place to work in...how ever, they haven gotten back to me..so not sure if they want me also...the second interview was horrible...some pharmacy technician position at KK hospital..the interviewer was some "staff pharmacy technician" the fierce kind of aunty in nurse uniform...she asked me alot of questions...more like interrogating me...and the work environment there didnt seem nice at all..whats more must stand all day, do cashiering, handle customers..more like sales kinda job with some packing of medicine...don think i will wanna work there...having another interview this fri at DSO laboratories..don think i can make it either...they seem to want very "good" pple...so i'll just go there to gain some interview experience...meanwhile, at the law firm, so happy that audrey confirmed my pay is still 1100 net which includes leaves and mc...but of course i cannot take too many leaves la...i only take half day leave for interviews...yup...but the work load there has been piling up due to the difference of one of the staff...so now the new staff that comes in don really know anything...and claim she has experience in conveyancing in her resume...but she doesn seem to know...well..too early to say anything...but i figure out she may be a victim of the "aunties" who kinda drove the other colleague away...hai...so much office politics..ok...i need to plan out my life again...cant be working all the time...then life would be so meaningless...need to find some time for jamming and composing and house work...like today i was so tired but still had to drag myself to clean the house and iron the clothes...yup...

Days like sand in the hour glass

2005-09-13T07:20:00.000-07:00

well, ystd i had an interview at TTSH for some Med tech position...but it's a one yr contract think...and i made a new friend at the interview...it's this girl who was suppose to be interviewed before me...she grad from SP in medical technology...i think she would get the job, coz what she studied seemed to be what they required...i kinda dunno what's the future for biotech students...at least that SP girl had went for some interviews and in fact she told me she got a job at changi hosipital but deicided not to work there coz it was too far for her...see...even others have a choice...im left with no choices at all...no interviews...hai...the days that past are getting worse for me...somehow i try to clong on the the hope that someone will respond to my resumes..but it doesn seem so..im so tempted to take up a part time job, but who would wanna hire a part timer who cannot work for long...im sorting out my options...teaching tuition seems like a too saturated occupation...i really dunno how long more am i gonna give myself...for now i guess i'll help my mum out with her work, to lighten her load..i think that may be the best way, to gain experience at the same time help her out...but see if she wants me to help her too :)...anw, today went to the library at tpy for a while to read some books...and met yongzhi later coz he wanted to help me out with the songs i composed...he gave me some good advice which i will bare in mind...yup..it's good to listen to others views too..yup...maybe i can be free lance composer...ahahaha...who knows?

2 New Songs by Niki

2005-09-11T06:24:00.000-07:00

YOUR LOVE

Everytime I wake
I see the beauty of
Your works in the world

Everytime I pray
that You will fill me
with Your love

Every step I take
is filled with the Spirit
that overflows in my heart

And I will love You like
no one else can tear us apart

Chorus:
Your Love is strong like a fire
And deeper than the seas
It will crash all the sin
within me

Your love is everlasting
It fills my heart and soul
Lord I want, that love to overflow

FOOD OF FAITH

I remember the story
when Jesus broke the bread
And the multitudes of people
He fed

The miracles He did
Though I was not there to see
But through the food of faith
I had experienced Him

Because He died on the cross
To pay for our sins
And today we are living
We live because of Him

Chorus:
Food of faith(Oh Jesus)
Food of faith(You fed me)
Food of faith(So delicious)
Food of faith....
Im living,
on the food of faith...

ppppppppp

2005-09-10T06:15:00.000-07:00

Hmm....today's Recruit doesn even have a single lab job i can apply for...it's really sad...but i don wanna talk abt it..anw, in the morning i went down to recruit express to fill in the form so the agency could help me find jobs...well..im so desperate i've resorted to that already...hmmmm....i just really pray i can find a job soon so i won be so bored with nothing to do and no money to spend...hmmm...well...lucky amelia so fast engaged...hehe..look at me..still in mid-air...but actually i also don wanna get married so soon la...he is still in sch and i m jobless..yup..anw, i guess the news these days will be all around the "body parts" incident...wonder whats the trend man...y will men resort to such drastic actions...shows that if men cannot get the women, they will kill her...but it seems that if women cannot get the men, they will kill themselves...so either way, women loogi...coz either way, women die..equally horrible deaths...yup...sadzzz....women of the world, pls stay strong k?...don die easily coz of a man and don let a man kill u...hahaha...oops!

Weirdest interview

2005-09-08T07:48:00.000-07:00

Today had the weirdest interview ever...i saw the ad on straits times...some doctor wanting to hire plesant and single clinic asst and it's at boon keng..very near my place...when i first saw it, i was disgusted by the idea...yet intrigued, i asked my sister if i should sms the hp no. so i did and a lady called me back to ask for an interview...ok so i went and here it is...when i stepped into the clinic, there was not a single patient around..but there were 3 goodlooking young girls at the counter...hmm...u know..usually in clinics u expect to see aunties..but 3 young girls..ok so nvm..one of them gave me a form to fill in...the form is even hand written...aft i filled it up, the girl gave me a Q number...Q no. for God's sake???!!!there is no one around!!!ok so i took the Q no.1 and waited for the Number to flash before entering the room...the doctor is a male in his 50s-60s...and he even had a cut up of his advertisement pasted on a board...how weird...so he explained to me that it is more like a skin clinic although they do normal practice but upstairs is for laser and botox i think...yup..so he told me the job scope was to assist him in the laser procedures..immediately, he assumed that i know the instruments coz i studied biotech...ok...he even asked me "so are you single?" i thought what he meant by single..so i replied " you mean im not married?" then he said "ya lah"...he even asked me "do you plan to get married?"...i was like" erm...ya lah...in future of course" then he said "erm i mean this few years...coz i don want my staff to take too many leaves like pregnancy leaves"...ok...he asked me alot of personcal questions like if my parents are still alive? i found those questions too wierd and personal but he had explanations for them saying that he doesn wnat someone who has to like take care of sickly parents and take too many leaves...i guess perhaps he has got many bad experiences with his past staff that he was so concern abt all this stuff...but i found this all too weird...he said for start he would pay me 1300 but if i perform well, pay would increase...and he even said there is a bonus(usually bonus is once a year) but he said his bonus is monthly..how weird...ok...he even says i would need to go for medical conferences local and overseas...local ones are weakly...and probably 3 times a yr or so overseas...so he asked if i was ok with it...like if my parents were? so i said...i needed to discuss with them and that obviously i wouldnt go overseas with him like so soon...and he said "of course i wont ask u to go like tomorrow la"...ok how "funny"...but i think he is really desperate to get someone coz he was like "so can u start work say tmr, although it is the 9 tmr, but if u can start i will pay u the whole mth's salary which is $1300"...in my mind i couldnt believe there would be such a good deal...part of me thinks it is fishy...the other part of me thinks he is prolly too desperate or has too much money...i dunno man...but for what ever reasons, i politely told him i needed to consider coz i i had another interview in the afternoon...yup...so much so for the first weird interview for the day...the second one was at Raffels hospital...it was also some clinic assistant position so af that interview, i decided not to work as clinic asst coz what im really looking for is a lab job...but i dunno y i just cant seem to find one...hai...well...will ontinue looking for it then...

I feel like a stone

2005-09-04T21:02:00.000-07:00

Life now is like stagnant water...mosquitoes can breed in me soon...the eggs are hatching...life seems meaningless for one moment...everyone around me are busying themselves with their own activities, be it school or work...as for me...the impatience is welling up...the replies have not yet flowed in...i desperately search the papers and online daily and frequently..hoping to grasp that bit of hope from every suitable position i see...only to have the hard truth bore into my skin...a degree...a degree...the word has somehow registered into my mind...i feeel sick at the thought of the competition i've to face..the lie which so innocently caught me when i was studying my diploma..."good prospects" "singapore is gearing towards that area"...is it true...only those who are in it know it...true to the extent if u r a phD holder perhaps...makes no sense to a diploma holder though...equal opportunities!? nah...those are just crap...see them in every page of the companies' carrer website...only to find that their "equal opportunities" equals to at least a degree in science FROM A RECOGNISE UNIVERSITY and at least 2 YEARS EXPERIENCE with knowledge of ENGLISH AND MANDARIN etc...sometimes i really wonder the definition of the term "EQUAL" and pity those non-chinese race or prolly those who do not know chinese...yup...guesss the harsh reality is just starting to make me understand the world even better..turning to God only makes me feel better...yups...i'll continue to be patient and wait then...

Bday celebration @ Fish & co

2005-09-02T08:53:00.000-07:00

sky dining

2005-09-01T07:14:00.000-07:00

yummy scallop!

baby and me!

Fiery Birthday..

2005-08-31T08:34:00.001-07:00

In the morning, i awoke to a loud "boom" sound...blury eyed, i went to check out what happened...apparently, the gas leakage in my kitchen caused a mini fire ball explosion while my mum was cooking breakfast...luckily, she was not too hurt...though her hair on her skin and some of her hair on her head was burnt off...yikes...got the CASA pple to come fix the gas pipe in the aftn...brought my bf's dog over in the aftn to my place...and while she was sitting on my lap, guess what??! she peeed on me...argh....so pissed cause my new aladin pants were all full of her urine...ok...had dinner at the soup restaurant with my family and him...later, proceeded to garden's ICE cafe for some ice cream with him...when he sent me back, there were SCDF vehicles around my block...first thing that came on my mine was another gas explosion in my house?was anyone hurt? i immediately rang my sis at home and she told me that it was the block directly opp my house which was on fire...immediately, we went to my house and watch the whole drama unfold...apparently, someone was trapped inside and the SCDF men had to break into the house...a hollow of black smoke came from the house and from my block i could already smell the tough stench of burning plastic...when they carried the men down, we were anticipating whether he was dead...coz he was like really black...in the end he turned out to be an indian....oops...i feel racist at this point...hmm...but it was really weird to see everyone so kaypo and the SCDF pple seem to be taking their time thoughout the whole event..yup...indeed a fiery bday!

Fiery Birthday..

2005-08-31T08:34:00.000-07:00

Roooooomantic

2005-08-29T22:18:00.000-07:00

ok....sat had a wonderful time with him....he was sooooo romantic...hahaha....he'd better be to make up for my past 2 bdays...ok...we went to watch Land of the Dead and it was not a nice show...aft that went over to his place and he surprised me with pink tulips, a frozen slice of cake with two candles and a black dress which i tried some time ago...the cake scene was so funny coz he came into the room singing happy bday and the wax was literally dripping onto the cake..coz the candles were poke straight into it...hahah...and the cake turned our inedibly rock-hard...so funny...hahahahaha....in the evening, he drove us to mount faber for sky dining...so sweet....dining in the cable car...it's ex and the food was not that nice...and we both got "car" sick coz imagine the cable car going from mount faber to harbour front to sentosa and back all the way...and we had travelled in that thing 3 rounds, every round they will change the food...the cable car does not have air con and the windows are so small it was stuffy in there...poor him wore long sleeve shirt and he brought a blazer along too...but lucky left it in the car...if not we would stuff to death...hahaha...and by the time we finish dinner, felt so neusea...yikes...and we promised each other that this would be a once in a life time experience...ONCE in a life time...hahaha....but it was fun la...something different and the effort he put in to please me...so sweet...yupz...today went for interview at NNI...guess i cannot make it...coz i wasnt really interested in the job..its dry lab base and collecting of stroke patient's data.wat's worse is that the working hours are unpredictable as in the Dr said that if a patient has a stroke in the middle of the night, we have to rush back to hospital to take his data...yikes...so sian...guess im jobless again...sobssobs

Quit Quet Quitted

2005-08-26T18:06:00.000-07:00

Yikes...ystd was my last day at work...and they cheated me off my pay...they took the one mth's salary, divided it by 31 days and multiply by 26...cheaters...they included weekends in my pay too...how can that be...that means if i quit on mon, i would have gotten sat and sun's pay too...crap. Nvm, im outta that place...half happy half sad...sad coz i miss some nice pple there and that im back to the jobless world...well...i'll start worrying abt it aft my bday la..for now,im gonna enjoy the next few days first...met up with weiling last nite to...she was darn cute la...brought me the wrong present...hahahahaha...kinda "dry-run" anticipation for my actual one...hahaha...today he is gonna celerated my bday for me la..though it's on the 31st but he is busy at sch on that day...so we'll see what surprise is installed...hee...and meeting up with ping they all on tue...hee...wonder what surprise also...hee...i guess i'll reserve the actual day for my family to celebrate with la..and i will open all my presents and use them then...thanks mich, thankx gio for the pressies...will use them when i trun 20 straight...haha...still not 21 one la..so still got abit of restrictions...wonder if i will celebrate my 21st bday in a party or how?hmm....till then...tata

Counting down to quitting

2005-08-24T05:43:00.000-07:00

I've had enough...u know what the stupid law-yer did today? ok...let me see, how should i start...few weeks ago, i sent one of the attachment students at my work place a pic of myself on the handphone-the stupid-looking "Mr.BEan" pic...anw, im rather close with the temasek students la...like good frenz...yup...and HE went to check her mobile...i dunno y HE cant just anyhow spy on pple's stuff and HE saw my pic. And HE bluetoothed the pic to HIS own hp. Great.I didnt know HE had my pic...although the past few days HE kept making fun of me. I thought HE just saw the pic that's all...But HE happily uploaded the pic into HIS com and HE send me a stupid email this morning titled "NOT FOR THE FAINT AT HEART" and when i opened it, it was that stupid picture of myself. I got so pissed i replied HIM : How could you spam my pic? I can sue you alright.I went to confront my fren and she explained that HE stole the pic from her hp...and she is also pissed with HIM. Well, how childish can a 35 yr old man be...fancy...

I don't mean to be mean but...

2005-08-22T19:04:00.000-07:00

Today i went into the lawyer's office to let him sign some doccuments...He was irresistably ABNOXIOUS!...ok firstly he asked me if i wan going to work till end of this week and i said yes. then he asked me when was i going to further my studies...i told him i was not sure yet..and he asked me what i planned to study..i told him pathology..he said he has frenz in that line and he said they are dellussional.I asked him what he meant by dellussional...he is so judgemental! I was rather put off by the way he tries to put me down...he asked me y i didnt wanna continue working until i decided when i wanted to further my studies...i wanted to tell him :"coz u pay me peanuts and make me do shit work." ok...let's not be so mean..but the fact is i have decided to further my studies after a few yrs when i earn enough money to do so and at the meantime, i need to find work that is related so i won't forget my basics by then...anw, it brings me to the first time i went for his interview...he saw my resume working part time at body shop and they paid me $5.50 per hr...fancy him saying "wa...bodyshop pay you peanuts! and he offers me $1.1k" wooo....see the irony there? he compares his pay with body shop's instead of asking himself what poly students nowadays receive...enuff said. Sometimes i wonder y lawyers are so judgemental and they think they are the best people around...brings me to what my fren mentioned the other time that the law students in NUS think too highly of themselves...all these made me create a quote "generally, lawyers are unfair that is why they are not judges. They are lawyers(too quick to judge)"

Lyrics and music by niki

2005-08-21T17:42:00.000-07:00

Fill me with Your light
In the darkness of the world
Guide me by Your hand
In the path of righteousness

The fallen
The broken
You healed us by Your mercy
You saved me,
You made me
and breathed the breath of life

Crimson, full and whole
Love like there's no tomorrow
By your stripes we are healed
All Your love that is so real

drive

2005-08-19T06:53:00.000-07:00

haha...today was the first time i took to driving...in fact, it's not that i've registered for driving lessons...but my bf was teaching me how to drive and he let me try it out...it was indeed thrilling...i manage a full left turn too...!!!hahaha...ok la..for those who know how to drive, u may think it is peanuts but for me a first timer it's really cool...i was apprehensive and first and break really hard but then i slowly accelerated and almost mounted the curb...haha...quite fun la...i cant wait to take my driving lessons soon...yeah...for now i can only learn by observing and knowing the roads...yup..

men

2005-08-18T06:13:00.000-07:00

today was on my way back in the mrt and i saw this girl who looks totally unappealing-ugly, to be crude...and she was with her rather good looking boyfriend who seemed to display much affection towards her..it made me wondered that there are actually singaporean men who do not go for looks at all...what a hard find...i use to think that all men would go for looks if their spouses were unattractive, they may find mistresses...but still, i'd like to do a survey...to you guys: would you choose a perfectly beautiful girl with all the desirable traits in terms of looks but she is poor or would you choose an ugly girl with all the undesirable traits in terms of looks but she is filthy rich? bare in mind that both girls are equal in character which is moderate character...somehow, im still not totally convinced and i think that if a prettier girl comes along the way, the guy may ditch her...yup...that is how confident i am in guys that they go for looks no matter what..discuss.

sorted out

2005-08-14T03:52:00.000-07:00

i've been spending the past week thinking about what i really want to do...i realised that studying business related courses are not suitable...as there are abundance of such graduates and i m not cut up for business...after talking to my parents, they suggested that if im the agressive kind and wanna be a career woman, then i should go for business but if i just wanna have a stable job and care for the family type, i should go for something more professional like science...so i've decided that i wanna continus science...therefore, i've to quit my current job and go look for a lab job...also, i wanna further my studies in pathology or forensic either in australia or canada...so i guess i have to work hard for the next 2 yrs to save up...another alternative is to teach science...but i think it would be better to get a degree before going to NIE to train as a teacher...so i can teach more specialise subjects...right now, my only concern is if i should quit my current job first then find a lab job or should i find first then quit...coz while im finding, it would be very difficult to schedule for an interview as i would be occupied working most of the office hours...yup...any suggestions?

so long nv been out

2005-08-06T07:28:00.000-07:00

today spent some quality time with him...went to 3 places...firstly, ikea to eatn the yummy swedish meatballs and bought some boxes for the new place to store stuff..aft that, went to great world city to find my bodyshop colleagues and also wathced Charlie and the Chocolate factory...coz Johnny depp was in it!!! woo hoo....johnny depp is the best!!!i love his acting man!!!...aft the movie, went to marina square there to watch the fireworks and have dinner at bakerz inn...the fireworks were really lovely...spent quite alot of quality time together with him...good...hmm...so fast the weekend's gonna pass again...and gotta go back to work...life is really such a boring routine...

Ooppppps

2005-08-05T06:44:00.002-07:00

Sorry for not updating for so long...that was due to me moving to my granny's place a few blocks away and we only got the internet connection recently...well...the second week at work has finally ended...kinda getting use t the work stuff i gotta do...though im stil learning and everyday is a busy day...the house is in such a mess now though most of the stuff are not mine but i feel so frustrated seeing stuff lying around...haha...honestly, i've been so busy lately,working,finding time for him and Him and the house...omg...it's like the busiest moment in my life...right now, i must plan to save up enough to go take driving lessons with my sis once she finishes her a levels...yeah...cant wait to drive then i can drive his car and ram it up the tree :P ok...im a little crazy liao...sleeping time!

Ooppppps

2005-08-05T06:44:00.001-07:00

Ooppppps

2005-08-05T06:44:00.000-07:00

Life

2005-07-28T05:07:00.000-07:00

I guess most of us have taken a turn in life...as for us, those who are working..i believe the harsh reality has kinda set in...the real world out there...so selfless and cruel...i somehow miss schooling so much...well,my work as been busy for me...the people there are ok...ok it seems to me on the surface but mind you, i've heard gossips abt others behind their backs..but...i dont wanna say much nor do i wanna get involved in their lifestyle...even if they wanna include me in it...coz i know even if i try to be the best i can,pple will still gossip..it's human nature...shall just follow in God's path to guide me...I've been forced to learn alot at work as there are alot of files to complete and we are short of manpower..so im kinda forced to do some difficult stuff...but so far, im doing my best to handle everything in my stride...i've deicided to work for a yr or so and then further my studies in Management and marketing...i guess that's my vision for now...i wanna be a successful Christian...abt where im gonna study i still have not decide...prolly take a diploma in management or something before proceeding...still in consideration...but i've decided that to climb the ladder,bio is not the way...unless we can study to reach pHD or unless we are super interested in research and don't mind working in the lab till we are old...so that is not what i want...pple use to say there are many prospects in bio...true in a way but from what i can see is that it requires u to further ur studies to a substantial level before u can be a researcher and handle ur own projects..if not u will forever be working under someone senior...

haiya...

2005-07-26T05:30:00.000-07:00

Today my second day of work and im experiencing some problems already...it's not about my colleagues but i have no employment letter...today i asked the secretary and she said they don usually give employment letters unless i request it for referal purposes...it's so weird coz if there is no employment letter, they can sack me anytime,i also can leave anytime, but whats worse is that they can don't pay me or pay me less coz there is no black and white documentation...and also, today the lawyer talked to me and he told me that out of respect for my seniors, i should leave only aft they leave...and ystd, they left at 8pm coz they had a lot of work to do...so u see...im suppose to work till 5.30pm and without any documentation, they can make me work OT and not pay me...and they nv metion anything abt OT either..but im not so particular abt OT...im just concerned that there is no employment letter...any one of u ever experienced this?hmm...i think tmr i shall ask my other colleagues if they have employment letters...hai...im so tired abt all this man...y do i seem to always have problems finding the right job?is it just me that i am too fussy or what...hai...a power attorney just came to my house to complain that no one paid the rent...sianz...hai...i dunno man...so many problems man...hai...

First day at work

2005-07-25T06:20:00.000-07:00

Today was my first day at work...seems a hectic place to work in...though the pple seem nice and friendly...i know nuts abt law man...but i was kinda forced into learningso many new stuff...actually my law firm is divided into 2 main sections, litigation and conveyancing but they put me at the conveyancing section...in case u dunno, conveyancing deals with buying and selling of properties...like bank loan, mortgage,refinancing all that...had to learn a no. of legal terms which im so unfamiliar with...and the person says if im fast i can handle my own cases...wahahaha...say till like im a lawyer liddat...anw, our law firm does property,criminal,matrimonial and family law...so if any of u wanna buy house or get married or rob a bank or something can come and find me :D hee...i got this feeling im gonna be so very hardworking...coz the law firm is so busy...and they handle transactions in large volumes...so if i screw up i can end up having to pay alot of money...alot as in prolly 1% the price of a house...haha...i dunno ow tmr will be like man...pray it will be good...i can foresee some problems among colleagues in future becoz of the way they act...in front of others la...but still, who am i to judge...and i've to try my best to be the best i can to advoid such conflicts at work...yupz...till then..

Stagnant

2005-07-24T02:52:00.000-07:00

Life has reached a point now
Stagnant
Like ripples on the water
Frozen in time
Everything stops in path
But I am left, continue walking
Walking through a place
Familiar yet unfamiliar
What has become of this world now?
What is it i really want?

This is Niki!

2005-07-21T06:46:00.000-07:00

Ive been picking up the pieces in my life...I have been thinking hard about what i realy want in life...And i realise that what i want is to be successful...Successful in what way?you may ask. My way= Not about making the most money, but to be able to have a positive attitude in everything i do with God's love and most importantly,to show that love to others in whatever i do. I have been very fickled minded about alot of things and that im easily swayed by what others tell me, there for im such a great worrier...I guess in a way im forced to grow up...but think abt this, in society nowadays, everyone is spoon fed even up to this age and they only start to grow up once they are pushed into the real world, out of the shelter of their parents...compared to pple ast time who were forced to take care of the family from a very young age, we these days have or parents to rely back on even until we grow old...I've concluded that my past thinking was indeed very immature...i try to look for a job which suits me, like travelling distance,pay,trivial stuff... should instead be looking to suit a job...to be able to take it with a positive attitude in order to be happy...coz nthing in the world would be perfectly up to my expectations, therefore, i've to work for it...i shouldn let minor things like distance and pay, fog my vision for a brighter future...Jesus was not put down by the odds He faced along the way...so why should I?What i should really do now is gain as much experience i can and face my situations in a positive way..it's easy to say and hard to do if i come facing some problems, but i have all u guys to support meand i sincerely thank you guys..At the meantime, I can realise what is my focus in life and plan to achieve it...To everyoneout there, do not be swayed by the doings of this world, stick to our integrity and we will emerge a whole rounder.

Law firm job

2005-07-20T05:59:00.000-07:00

I've decided to take up the law firm job though the pay is low...i've told myself thati would use it to gain experience,besides, it's convenient and the wrking hours are not so long..also, im so tired and taxed out looking for a suitable job...today's interview didnt went on well...i was rather amazed at the way some companies run...it's really sad...though they make alot of money, they don seem to treat their staff well...for once,i felt that the lady who interviewed me just didnt seem to trust me at all...she was apprehensive abt every single thing...sometimes i really think i would not be able to work in a company when even the basis of trust cannot be established..I do wonder what and why God has put me through all these...when i was having a hard time deciding on whether i should take up the law firm job, God offered me the latter interview...i thought that perhaps He doesn want me to work in the law firm so He gave me another interview as an option out...but now, im starting to understand.What He wants is for me to think and prioritise...Am i really working for the money?He showed me that it doesn mean that working in a company that pays well means it's good. There will be many other people and situations i would have to face. Especially unreasonable and skeptical people.. along the way, i also learn that some companies are very proud and scheming, they ask u questions about competitor companies to know abit more about them and from their application forms,eg:have you heard of our brand?which do u like best?why do you like? isnt it obvious that the interviewee will have to put something good about their products in the comment area..it feels like they are killing two birds in one stone- can get a survey done + an interview...really sad..At least i emerged learning somethings about the attitudes of the real world. And i thank God for it. Meanwhile,i need to take a break from all these job hunting stuff...

stresseddddd

2005-07-19T07:36:00.000-07:00

i got an offer from the law firm but the pay is very low...i've to confirm with them tmr...and i've got 2 other interviews tmr...the problem is if i have to wait for the reply from the interviews tmr, m i going to reject the law firm or not? how if the other interviews do not want me?then i'll have no job, back to square one again...i really dunno man...so stressed

idle

2005-07-17T19:46:00.000-07:00

the NKF incident has really opened my eyes...i shows how crucial a part the media plays...once it blasts the news abt a certain issue, the people react to it wildly...so the moral is - don't mess with the media...Saw Jac online last nite...so exciting...i miss her alot...that weird feeling of calm kinda swarmed me when i was chatting with her...i just can't put my thoughts into thinking that in 2yrs time she will be graduated with an honours degree...part of me is envious, part of me sad...sad that im still hanging here...not knowing what do do with my life..not knowing what is meant for me or what i really want,should i say, what He really wants...ystd, one of the sunday school girl gave me a get-well-soon card coz i didnt turn up last week due to stomach problems..it really touched me...yet during the lessons, i couldnt really handle the kids when my partner was away...i made a mistake by letting them off early, too early, coz i had to deal with this 2 other naughty boys who were disturbing the whole class..in the end,another sunday school teacher ask them all to return to the classroom and asked me why i let them off so early...sheesh...i was so confused..i couldnt handle the situation plus the naughty boys in a class of about 20 children...guess im a failure at that...and when i taught them lessons,i didnt try to make it fun,like games or whatsoever...instead i was talking to them like adolesence or adults, explaining to them the importance of prayer and everything...the boys as usual have no concentration...i guess im just not fit to be a teacher(a fun teacher)...hai...God,help me!

siiiiiannnnnn

2005-07-15T03:04:00.000-07:00

Nobody wants me!!i still have no job...ok...i haven been sending out much resumes as there are not much related job postings...and, went for 3 interviews this week...hai...seems that none of them is a success...i thought the one at marigold would be good...but it is a tough job and im expected to work 7.30am -7pm on weekdays and 7.30-1.30pm on sats...it's like...hai...u know...whats more i've to test raw samples in the warehouse and cold room for hours and have to drag like 25kg of smaple so the lady ask me if i can or not...i just smiled and say can..haha...imagine skinny niki draging more than half her weight and working for 11hours everyday...and today's interview cannot make it...its at technoprenuer centre at ayer rajah...so far and so ulu...and it's a lab job doing recalibration of pipettes...the interviewer asked me what kind of job i expect..i did check up their webby but i said that i would be more interested in research...so can see from their face they know im not interest...and this interview was the weirdest coz apart from filling up the usual form, i had to do this personality quiz thing...coz they say that the pipette job is routine and boring and must have a steady hand...haha...see...and most of the interviews i went, i put expected pay as $1500-1800...and they say it is high!!!they say should be $1300...do u guys think so...i didnt know poly grads are paid so little...arghhhhhhh ncm...i've been trying to lower my expectations by alot already...now im putting $1300-1800....yikes...

sighzzz

2005-07-08T03:40:00.000-07:00

im so tired and stressed out lately looking for a job, the jobs are either too far or i just don find the environment suitable when i go for the interview...i also rejected some interviews which i just dont feel like going to...right now, i cant seem to find the right job...the ads don seem to have what is suitable...so i guess i'll be continue searching...and continue praying that i will get a suitable job...i think that is the most important for now...

INTERVIEWS

2005-07-06T02:50:00.000-07:00

I was suppose to go for 3 interviews today, the first one which i went in the morning was at some really inaccessible place at Panadan loop...had to take a train to clementi and take a feeder bus but the place was like so industrialise and ulu that i don think i will take that job...the second co. was at tanjong pagar..at the row of shop houses...the place was certainly "ang moh" type...the receptionist speaks with an accent..honestly, it sounds rather irritating since she is a chinese...and the pple who work there are mainly ang moh but the interviewer is indian i think but he speaks with an angmoh accent...he said that there are many candidates and ask me to go down tmr full day from 9.30-6.30 to take a look at how their working life is before he decides on the right candidate tmr...dunno if i should go leh?but i think it's no harm to go and learn some stuff probably...the last interview was suppose to be at NUSS guild house at suntec...went there and it seem like a place that i wouldnt wanna work in...the interview Q was rather long and it seem scary as there seem to be alot of graduate candidates there...what kinda annoyed me was the girl seating next to me in the Q, she seem very agitated when filling up the form and even scold "shit" when she filled in the wrong stuff or something...the environment really made me uncomfortable so aft handing back the form, i left..i just left without a word..it was like some walk-in interview and i cant believe i just left...i feel so bad yet i felt that i wouldnt get the job so y waste my time...hmm...really confused right now...esp abt tmr...if they decide to choose me how am i going to reject them or not..somehow i hope they won choose me...ha...im such a weirdo...im so picky at jobs...hai..and and, when i was walking back to the mrt through citylink, there was this lady in her 30s-40s she was smiling and waving at me...i felt werid...i thought she was waving at someone else behind when she sudden stop in front of me and said "how are you?" i was shocked and thought she was talking to someone else so i continued walking away...so weird...what a weird day...i felt so weird...ahhhhhhh...can i just not work...?!?!!

passing

2005-06-30T20:19:00.000-07:00

im now so picky abt jobs...i check them out, see where the co is whether it is far from home, try to sign up for a bigger co...i feel so picky now...anw, met up with jac, ling and richard ystd at bugis...ling was sick and we were all quite sian at first but then we started gossiping...haha...it was good to catch up with old times...and richard was really sweet to appear dispite being the only guy...and he even carried jac's text book for her..so fast everyone is like having their lives...i really miss school days..i realise that studying was so much better...ur life would be much flexible and all..too bad i don't have a chance to study at the moment...and ystd, the electric man came to cut of our electric supply coz my parents haven paid for 3mths and they were like pushing the blame to each other..so sianz...i hate it everytime they do it..in the end, my dad went to pay- borrowing money from my sis to pay...sucks right..my financial shit is in a mess la...should be moving in with my grandma to their new place just 2 blks away...still not sure coz my sis is upset that my dad wanna move to m'sia..not so nice to have one member of the family far away...but i guess it's the man ego thing that he doesn wanna stay with my uncle and granny...yup...so sianz

Quit

2005-06-28T05:01:00.000-07:00

ok...today i quit the job...judy paid me for my 2 days of work...it was really difficult bringing myself to tell her...i had to wait till like 4pm before she came back to the office...the wait was horrible..i kept calling and smsing ling...thanks ling...u gave me the courage..when i finally had a good talk with judy,she was nice and talked to me like a friend...i just told her that my parents do not want me to work and the reasons...yup...she told me to be more decisive in future...i felt really bad coz before i could tell, they already had "big plans" for me...to groom me and stuff..and they were surprise by my fast learning pace...today i had already processed orders and invoices to ship the goods...nad everytime they mention some plan or they tought me how to do stuff i felt super guilty coz i was going to quit then...but she told me something which i feel i have to rmb: the fact is that you cannot please everyone,sometimes you have to be selfish. That is indeed very true for me...i try too hard to please everyone that i put myself at risk..but no risk no gain...yup...well...for a moment im feeling relieve...at least my parents wont nag at me and stuff...meanwhile,i gtg look for another job..

SIAN AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

2005-06-27T07:30:00.000-07:00

Hai...first day of work and i've got so much problems...the problems are not with my work but they are about my work...today Manager(Judy) churned out the contract letter thing...i asked to bring it home and she didnt seem happy...but anw,first,his mum saw the letter and said that i should bargain about the contract...coz it states that for 2 yrs im tied to the company and if i break the 2 yrs,i'll have to compensate the renumeration of the company...which means that if i work for 6 mths and quit, i'll have to pay 1 half yr of my salary...hai...i feel that i won quit so easily one loh...but everyone is so worried for me...they say how if under unforseen circumstances?i got ask my manager but they say certain things can be discussed if such bad things happen...but then the elders say but this is a black and white contract leh...they can use it against me...hai...i really dunno man...and my mum also had alot to say abt it..coz it didnt state that after my probation i will get a pay increase...and my mum says im suppose to get a pay increase after probation...hai...i really nv think so much loh...i just wanna work for the experience but they(the elders) have got alot to say...my mind is churning right now...im afraid my manager will get angry and think y i don't have a mind of my own...but it's true...i really don't have...another thing...im doing admin and judy ask me to do sales...she wanna hire another admin person...coz she thinks i can do sales...but im not sure abt it myself...at first we agreed on me doing admin and then moving on to sales aft i get comfy...but i dunno y today she said that if she train me for admin then a few mths later i wanna do sales, den she will have to spend effort to train me and another admin person again...hai...now she is presurring me...im like a ball being pushed around...honestly, it's a small co.like abt 4 pple..and they are all nice and young, im so far happy working except with all these small little things rising up...i really dunno man...somehow i feel studying was so much easier!

stupid me!

2005-06-26T06:28:00.000-07:00

ok...i did something stupid...tmr is my work day and im kinda nervous...i dunno y i thought today is the 27th...so i sms my fren happy bday...it really made her upset when she was already upset...sheesh...i screwed up...and wat's worse i tried to correct my mistake by making another mistake "isnt ur bday on the 29"....i cant believe i typed 29 instead of 27...sheesh...it's even more stupid...now she won ever believe me...she'll think i went to check out somewhere and try to cover up...well, all i can say is that im blur and stupid...sorry...anw...im really nervous to start work tmr...im afraid of the travelling time...whats more i hope i don screw up with my blurness again...sheesh...

Jesus

2005-06-24T09:02:00.000-07:00

Today is my last day at the Body Shop...i was really touched that my malaysian colleague who is a non-christian is interested to go to church with me...she told me that back in malaysia once, her friend brought her to church...she told me that her friend was in a bad state before he new Christ and his life improved after he became a christian...i was especially touched when she told me that her fren's mum who was a buddist her whole life, accepted Christ at her deathbed...she said she saw God and believe...It is true that one only sees God when he/she is going to die...i dunno if it's too late to believe by then...coz most people like to challenge "if u want me to believe then God must appear before me first"...that is a very wrong thinking..most think that seeing is believing...but the word faith and believe derives from something unseen...if u believe in someone, do u have to see the thing being done?or do u put ur total faith and trust in that person...that is the difference a lot of people don't seem to get...that is why God loves the little children...because they have such child-like faith...not like us...who are more grown up and we have been polluted by our own values and beliefs that we doubt and question too often...if only we had such a pure heart..only then God will reveal Himself to us...

work

2005-06-21T07:34:00.000-07:00

yeah!today met up with ping....she looks so mature all dressed up in office wear...i cannot imagine myself liddat...hahahhaa...today went to j8 and had thai express for dinner before shopping around for some office attire...some prudential roadshow guys approached us and talk non-stop...we were kinda irritate coz they spoilt our shopping time...hahaha...and they kept asking alot of personal questions like "do u have a bf?", "how long together?" all that nonsense...sheesh...anw, i almost bought a $58 skirt...sheesh...office wear really cost alot...the average price for a piece of top or bottom is around $50...im like going to be so broke...although i already am...yikes...

hooooo

2005-06-20T18:41:00.000-07:00

last nite went out with mich and gio and kel...was like so excited...at first we had problems on wehre to eat, coz everywhere was packed...so we went to heeren's to take some neoprints...before proceeding don to marche to eat...ordered to much to eat so in the end had to push all to the only guy to eat...he seems like a big eater anw...all guys are suppose to be...haha..first time tried pizza with the chilli seeds and powder on top..oh my!it's worse than it looks...the others made it look easy...well, i choked and almost teared on my first bite...it took a while for the sensation to sink in..hahaha...ok...im not a chilli person i have to admit..it was all good la...at first there were some tension btw kel and gio...but luckily in the end, they were ok...hee...have to admit mich makes a good mother and wife la...look at the way she feeds kel ice cream and all...hee...anw, will be meeting ping tonight..cant wait to see her too...hahaha...apparently going to j8 to buy some working clothes or so...argh...im so broke...seriously..i just spent money on making new specs,paying my bills and all...havent got my pay yet...yikes...

yikes

2005-06-19T09:35:00.000-07:00

Sometimes i dunno if im gullible or what...got a few calls for job interviews and i told them i found a job already...sheesh...this morning,got one call from some parkway labs for the post of marketing executive...yikes and the girl sounded so nice over the phone only to hear me say i found another job...i should have went to find out more right?maybe it suits me better?yikes...i cant believe myself!!!

2005-06-19T08:41:00.000-07:00

men are like fine wine They start out as grapes,and it's up to women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with...anw, today went to church...the service ministered to me...i somehow find God very comforting...He is able to use sermons which really reflect upon me...well..it kinda cheered me up to know that He is always there for me...it taught me not to be angry...Colossians 3...to be able to understand and focus my thoughts on the right teachings of jesus...only He would be able to cleanse my mind for our minds are sinful in nature...we do occasionally think of bad thoughts even when we try to tell ourselves not to...well...i guess we are not filled enough..my christian life is really like a kettle...i have to be constantly filled with the word and holy spirit plus that burning fire for God in order to pour out water to boil a cup of tea...sometimes,my temperature is wrong at the wrong time and i will pour out hot water that scar and hurt others instead...that is y i should know how to control myself...and the only way is to find peace...in Him...

Tire Tired Tiring

2005-06-17T08:14:00.000-07:00

I need to find peace in God...Im feelin very tired these days...partly coz my working hours are odd and i don get to eat proper meals while having to stand the whole day...im trying to convince myself that everything is alright...its not seem to be...look...now it's 11.15 and im still up...it's not normal of me at all, but i try to tell myself it's a self achievement to stay up late...im lying to myself..im tired but i got nothing to do and i keep trying to find stuff to do...aimlessly surf the net or read other's blogs or just call some one, anyone to talk to...i think im depressed...yet on the other hand, im fine...sheesh..what is my disease??Im having work phobia...im scared of working,yet i feel that i like to work...coz i can earn money,keep myself busy and shut away from the gruesome world...or m i just running from reality?i really dunno...some how im afraid the workload will be too stressful, the travelling time, the people,whether they will trick me with the contract,when i start working, my life will change, my relationship with my family, and him...i think too much...so much...my thoughts never end...help me...Help Me oh Lord...Im going to work now...isn't that what u plan for me?Y am i Feeling this way???

hai

2005-06-16T07:54:00.000-07:00

feel so tired...i've been extending my bed time to 11-12 before i retire...it's a well improvement compared to my average 10pm sleep...yupz...but it has taken a toll on me...i feel so listless in the day...my day is so monotonous...now im gettin the feel of working life...i can hardly spend time with frenz and family, needless to say, do the things i like...everyday is becoming so routine...sheesh...i need to do something abt my life...do something i like...can anyone tell me???

job

2005-06-15T06:01:00.000-07:00

yeah...went for my first interview in the morning and i got the job...it's some small bio co selling equipments and stuff...i'll be doing the admin and some sales stuff...i should count myself blessed for getting jobs straight aft interview...dis kinda led me to decline all the other interviews...haha...actually it's good la coz i hate to go for interviews...feels jiffy...haha...im not sure if i'll like my new job but its like at jurong...and im staying at serangoon...but well...it's 2yrs contract i cant break so i think i better enjoy my job or i'll have a tough time...the girl offered me to work either in the office or as a product specialist which requires alot of travelling and stress...so i decided to start in the office first and see how things go...my main job scope would be the usual admin stuff like invoices, packing some of the stuff and liasing with overseas partners on the products...it's more office hours kinda job so i hope it will be good...hee...kinda excited as im strating my job on 27june aft i finish my part time job...yep...

happenings

2005-06-14T08:55:00.000-07:00

ok...a few things happened these few days...surprisingly from my blurly written resume, i got two calls for interview. One was ystd which is post of product specialist at Insta Bioanalytik some german co. Tmr is my interview...another one is Scientific Resources for post of customer service and the lady called me today...she was kinda rude to judge me la..so i decided not to go for the interview...i was on my way to work and she called me..here's our conversation that made me pissed: niki,"may i know what is your address, can u email it to me?". Julie,"you don't even have the initiative to take down the address. This really shows alot about you." I was speechless for a moment...then i proceeded to explain,"sorry, im on my way to work now and i do not have a pen and paper to jot down the address."

ok.after she hanged. I thought,"sheesh!how quick to judge.and the way she spoke was rude and impatient. i cannot imagine her as my boss or colleague." so im not going for the interview and i've emailed her im not going.it's not like some big posttion anw...ha...nikiniki...

today for the first time, an angmoh came into our shop to apply for work...ok...it may seem like nothing, but it seems amazing to me coz i've never seen an angmoh applied for such a position...anw, she is french and seem rather friendly...another thing...another thing, my customer a chinese from china spent $180 in a single purchase...haha...ok...it's the first time i see a china women spending so much...shows how rich chinese are these days...on the contrary, another china lady came in and asked me alot of questions and didnt buy anything...ok,thirdly,a customer who came in today was actually Miss Singapore universe, Bernice Wong.haha...i didnt recognize her until my colleague told me...no wonder she looked familiar...opps...ok i know im "sua ku" coz all these things are no big deal...but it feels weird that so many weird things happened in a day...and btw, our sales at 5pm was only $900 and we managed to close at $3K...amazing ya...sheesh...im "sua ku" again...

Blur as A SOTONG

2005-06-12T18:45:00.000-07:00

OMGOMGOMG!!!I cannot believe how blur i am...i reused the resume template to sent out all my resumes without changing the "position title"!!!SHESSH! im so SToooooooooooopid...so all my past resumes are like...surely no replies...yikes!!the thought of it...the effort i spent searchin!!!yikes...i've to restart again...hopefully it teaches me a lesson!

Job hunting

2005-06-10T20:16:00.000-07:00

Im job hunting again...this time, it's for a permanent job...at least i know i wont have to just got to the interview for fun and think of how to reject the company...this time it is for real...im half nervous,half numb...i've just sent our resumes...haha...hopefully some call me back...i just want a decent job with standard working hours so it wont take a toll on me...hmm...i dunno for now...

2005-06-07T08:28:00.000-07:00

Im so sad...my dad seems to be the one who is more upset than me that i cant get into local u...he is now pressing me to find a perm job coz he says my present partime job is too long hours and little pay...well...im just into my second week at bodyshop...all thanx to ntu who took so long to reply and reply like during my first week of work...so im already stuck with this part time till end of this month...so...i can only kinda work permanently from july onwards...meanwhile,i guess i'll be scouting for some jobs...it's a weird feeling to pass this transition from being a student to a working adult...haha...i bet many of u are experienceing this...so i guess im not alone...well, whatever it is, dont give up...even if singapore doesn give us a chance at higer education, we can live on and probably study overseas...honestly, i don see a future here...i predict our homeland to be rulled by china chinese in the future...even the sports pple are so called "bought from china"...haha...and the science pple...u can see in the labs at ntu and nus...or many other research labs...hahaha...soon singapore will be called china town...oops...

Tired

2005-06-05T18:56:00.000-07:00

Sorry for not updating in such a while due to hectic work schedules as u all know now it's the Great Singapore sale...anw, I finally recieved a rejection letter from NTU on Fri aft waiting for 2 mths...i was really upset due to the fact that they took so long to reply me and rejected me...that hindered my plans and now that im working part time, i'll have to wait till end of june before being able to find a proper permanent job...meanwhile...im looking out for jobs...probably in the sales sector as im really worn out doing science...and science isn't my cup of tea...many of u also received rejection letters...but i guess we are all frustrated to recieve such bad news aft waiting so long...well...well, my friend said his friend who studied bio got average C+ yet he got into NTU last yr...yet some of us with ave Bs could not get in this yr even aft they increase the intake...i just do not understand why they increased the intake for poly students yet still not many of us could get in...perhaps competition this yr is pretty tough or perhaps they took in more "foreign talent" or something...btw, the local universities are being flooded by pple from china if u do notice...more spaces are left for foreingers and more locals are left to scout overseas...weird...i would not like to comment more on the government...and all is left for u to think...btw, what are most of u doing now?what are ur plans?

tired

2005-05-30T19:17:00.000-07:00

Im so tired...ystd i screwed up man...in intro some wrong stuff to the customer and only realise aft she left...so i pray she won be the kind that will come back and complain...hahaha...but hard to say la...u know singaporeans...and also, i gave a customer the wrong discount and she screwed me upside down...even aft apologising and saying it's my first day at work...sometimes,we meet such unreasonable pple...but...whatado?im working at great world bodyshop...so don come and visit me anw...coz u will see hw hagged i look and my t-shirt is way too small for me..i feel like a baby...hope they change my size for me soon...im really so exhausted coz i've to stand the whole day...im working today also and i think i'll be working almost everyday as they are shorthanded...the worse is i've to stand for hours...like from 11am-10pm...it'll really take a toll on me...hmzzzz

yes

2005-05-29T19:44:00.000-07:00

Yesh!Im starting work today...feeling a much great sense of happiness...when i was slacking at home,i felt very bored and frustrated at nothing...i dunno what is wrong with me...i get easily irritated and angry at others...frenz,family and even him...i think i really need a good wake up...sorry to those i've offended or anything...i really dunno whats wrong with me and my mood swings and all...im really sorry...i guess its the pressure built up from always being at home,doing the house work, no money to spent,my sickness and everything...well...im bored now, so here's something:

1. SCHOOLS YOU ATTENDED?
Chongfu Pri,Yishun Town Sec,Ngee ann poly

2. WHAT IS THE WALLPAPER ON YOUR CELLPHONE?
A picture of Phoebe,his family pet chihuahua

3. DID YOU GET ENOUGH SLEEP LAST
NIGHT?
I dunno man,i've been sleeping for long hours but i tend to wake up alot in the middle of the night

4. FIRST THING YOU THOUGHT ABOUT
THIS MORNING WHEN YOU WOKE UP?
Argh...stomach bloated!

5. WHAT DO YOU HAVE HANDY AT
YOUR BEDSIDE?
My handphone

6. EVER TRIED TO SKIP MEALS
No!!..i eat eat and eat...still so skinny!

7. GRILLED OR FRIED?
Grilled tastes better

8. WHAT MAKES YOU UNIQUE TO
OTHERS?
I look chinese speaking but infact im better conversant in English.

9. ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?
No.

10. FAVOURITE HANGOUT?
In front of the TV..

11. 3 THINGS YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT?
Oxygen,God's grace,Water.

12. FIRST THING YOU WILL BUY IF
GIVEN 1 THOUSAND DOLLARS?
A nice spring matress.

13. FAVORITE SONG WHEN YOU'RE
SLEEPY?
Only you...then i'll sleep

14. WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF?
Rejection.

15. ARE YOU A GIVER OR TAKER?
Both

16. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?
Nick, Nike, Bebe, Jappy(Ekks!!).

17. WHAT IS YOUR DAD'S MIDDLE
NAME?
Chen Hee Meng- So "Hee"?

18. MOST RECENT MOVIE THAT YOU
WATCH?
Madagascar

19. INVISIBLE FOR A DAY, WHAT
WOULD YOU DO?
Rob a bank!!!!wahahahahah

20. STUCK ON A DESERT ISLAND &
COULD HAVE ONLY ONE KIND OF FOOD FOR
THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, WHAT WOULD IT
BE?
Fruits?

21. FAVORITE T.V. COMMERCIAL?
Lee Hwa...There she goes...there she goes again...i love the song

22. IF YOU'LL DIE TOMORROW, WHAT
WILL YOU DO?
Try to convert him to christian

23. FIRST THING YOU'LL SAVE IN A
FIRE?
Myself

24. YOUR EYE COLOR?
Brown

25. WHAT ARE THE THINGS YOU
ALWAYS BRING?
Hp, keys.

26. WHAT DID YOU WANNA BE WHEN
YOU WERE A KID?
A pilot.

27. WHAT DO YOU USUALLY DO WHEN
THE CLOCK TURNS 7 AM?
depends

28. THE COLOR OF YOUR BEDSHEET?
Light blue with polka dots

29. WHO U WANT TO MEET?
God

30. HOW'S LIFE?
Sick.